Griqua Marital Rites

 

 

Marriage

It is believed that once a girl reaches a certain stage and a boy they are ready to start their lives and the family. In the olden days the parents of a man used to look at a home that will be suitable for their child and a girl as there was a belief that a daughter who their parents don’t have anything won’t be suitable for a big household. So in other words rich people will only married a daughter. During that time the rich of a man was not about money it was about the cattle and the way his fields are producing crops. Even the parents more especially the women who have got daughters will befriend themselves with that family so that one of her daughters must be seen and got a good man to look after.

 

By that time sex before marriage was not allowed and the Griqua nation were so strict about that if the two people found having sex or anything there was consequences. There were customs that are being done regarding that act. It was a disgrace and a shame to the family of a girl who fell pregnant before marriage and that girl used to be trashed by her parents in front of her boyfriend. Some used to get married when they find out they have done something and to cover that they quickly cover their tracks and by the time things are out they are already married.

Rapists were scarce if that person is found he got a punishment and it was worse when he raped a child he was hanged in public. If the woman who got raped was married a husband was given permission to kill the perpetrator without fear of being charged or went to court. Homosexual was not allowed amongst the Griqua nation if the family saw that something was not right with their son the father will call certain men to speak to him and steer him to the right direction. And that was not serious as a boy will change to become a man got married and have children and his past forgotten.

 

A girl is not supposed to be in any relationship until she passed the puberty stage and also a boy to reach initiation. When a boy finds a girl that he wants to marry he will give that girl a small stick and the girl will understand if she loves the boy she will break the sticks and throw the other half in his chest. That meant she was accepting his request, there were no talks and a girl will take the stick home.

This will take a while as the elders should intervene and the negotiations will take place. It is the uncles and aunts that are involved in these negotiations from day one and they must see to it ends well. The family of a boy is obliged to give gifts to the girl’s parents during negotiations. It is in these negotiations that they set a date for the wedding and everybody now can look forward to the wedding. Both families are working hand in hand preparing for their children’s big day, everyone don’t want any embarrassment so everybody is doing their best.

Within seven days before the wedding the bride is not supposed to be seen outside more especially her fiancée, she will stay inside the house with her two bridesmaid while they are there they will be mixing the red stone, buchu and other herbs or things and use that mixture in their faces. Even during these seven days the girl is being taught by the old women about how do you do when you are married. They will even tell her when the people of her new family are witches she must do the same thing. She got lessons on how to treat her husband and what can she do to keep her house warm and everything that is related to the marriage.

A day before the wedding a bride had to go and meet with her in-laws, this must be done before twelve noon as they believe that if it’s after twelve there will be a bad luck. So the bride’s family will prepare their daughter to leave the house. When they leave the house one of the bridesmaids will play the reed flute as a sign to tell the people that the bride is leaving the house of her parents. They are accompanied by her relatives to this meeting. When they arrived, bridegroom will wait for the mother to enter the doorstep and send a goat in as a present then the groom will go to the kraal and wait for the bride and her relatives. The King or chief in the absent of the King who is called Captain will be standing with the groom in the kraal. Once they arrive the Captain will place a necklace in their hands and the groom will take the necklace and the Captain will tell him to place it over the head of the bride and then the bride over the head of the groom. If there was no disturbance or anything that happened during this ceremony the Captain will bless them and they will be pronounced as husband and wife.

When the procedures are done the relatives of the bride and groom including the community women will sweep the road with different types of brooms, pots and mugs are being used as instruments for dancing. Some will chase goats, sheep, cows and chicken to the hut or house of the couple. These animals must enter this house or hut before the couples enters. The celebrations will begin and they will continue until the following day as they will be starting their lives as husband and wife. 

It is believed that once a girl reaches a certain stage and a boy they are ready to start their lives and the family. In the olden days the parents of a man used to look at a home that will be suitable for their child and a girl as there was a belief that a daughter who their parents don’t have anything won’t be suitable for a big household. So in other words rich people will only married a daughter. During that time the rich of a man was not about money it was about the cattle and the way his fields are producing crops. Even the parents more especially the women who have got daughters will befriend themselves with that family so that one of her daughters must be seen and got a good man to look after.

 

By that time sex before marriage was not allowed and the Griqua nation were so strict about that if the two people found having sex or anything there was consequences. There were customs that are being done regarding that act. It was a disgrace and a shame to the family of a girl who fell pregnant before marriage and that girl used to be trashed by her parents in front of her boyfriend. Some used to get married when they find out they have done something and to cover that they quickly cover their tracks and by the time things are out they are already married.

Rapists were scarce if that person is found he got a punishment and it was worse when he raped a child he was hanged in public. If the woman who got raped was married a husband was given permission to kill the perpetrator without fear of being charged or went to court. Homosexual was not allowed amongst the Griqua nation if the family saw that something was not right with their son the father will call certain men to speak to him and steer him to the right direction. And that was not serious as a boy will change to become a man got married and have children and his past forgotten.

 

A girl is not supposed to be in any relationship until she passed the puberty stage and also a boy to reach initiation. When a boy finds a girl that he wants to marry he will give that girl a small stick and the girl will understand if she loves the boy she will break the sticks and throw the other half in his chest. That meant she was accepting his request, there were no talks and a girl will take the stick home.

This will take a while as the elders should intervene and the negotiations will take place. It is the uncles and aunts that are involved in these negotiations from day one and they must see to it ends well. The family of a boy is obliged to give gifts to the girl’s parents during negotiations. It is in these negotiations that they set a date for the wedding and everybody now can look forward to the wedding. Both families are working hand in hand preparing for their children’s big day, everyone don’t want any embarrassment so everybody is doing their best.

Within seven days before the wedding the bride is not supposed to be seen outside more especially her fiancée, she will stay inside the house with her two bridesmaid while they are there they will be mixing the red stone, buchu and other herbs or things and use that mixture in their faces. Even during these seven days the girl is being taught by the old women about how do you do when you are married. They will even tell her when the people of her new family are witches she must do the same thing. She got lessons on how to treat her husband and what can she do to keep her house warm and everything that is related to the marriage.

A day before the wedding a bride had to go and meet with her in-laws, this must be done before twelve noon as they believe that if it’s after twelve there will be a bad luck. So the bride’s family will prepare their daughter to leave the house. When they leave the house one of the bridesmaids will play the reed flute as a sign to tell the people that the bride is leaving the house of her parents. They are accompanied by her relatives to this meeting. When they arrived, bridegroom will wait for the mother to enter the doorstep and send a goat in as a present then the groom will go to the kraal and wait for the bride and her relatives. The King or chief in the absent of the King who is called Captain will be standing with the groom in the kraal. Once they arrive the Captain will place a necklace in their hands and the groom will take the necklace and the Captain will tell him to place it over the head of the bride and then the bride over the head of the groom. If there was no disturbance or anything that happened during this ceremony the Captain will bless them and they will be pronounced as husband and wife.

When the procedures are done the relatives of the bride and groom including the community women will sweep the road with different types of brooms, pots and mugs are being used as instruments for dancing. Some will chase goats, sheep, cows and chicken to the hut or house of the couple. These animals must enter this house or hut before the couples enters. The celebrations will begin and they will continue until the following day as they will be starting their lives as husband and wife. 

Latest comments

20.05 | 15:46

send an email to :griquacommissariate@gmail.com

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17.05 | 03:46

I am researching my Great Great Grandfather Missionary Christoph Andreas Sass who married an Orlam Kaaitjie Engelbrecht in Silver Fountain 1817. Any help please

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17.05 | 03:33

I am doing research of my Great Great Grandfather Christoph Andreas Sass who was a missionary in Namaqualand from 1811 and moved to Captain Cornelius Kok's Kraa

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15.05 | 14:16

Thanks Joe

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